Achy Breaky

Yesterday morning before ten o'clock, two unusual things happened. One, I found myself salivating over a uTube link my daughter had posted on Facebook. It was a clip of the new ad for H&M's David Beckham underwear. And yes, it was DB himself modelling. It made me feel like an eighteen year old again and I would never have guessed that DB could do that to me. I'm more a Bruce Willis type, wouldn't know what to do with a head of hair...

Who knew?

The second thing was I went for a sports massage (still have a lot of pain in the neck (ha) and shoulders, resulting from the pneumonia episode. Anyway, the point is that I exited from there feeling and looking like a sixty year old. Amazing what an hour can do to a woman. Today, I've woken up eighty. If muscles can cry, mine are sobbing. If DB himself walked in right now, I'd have to say no. Or at least take a rain check... If Bruce walked in, I'd have to suggest he go for a beer with DB and come back in a few days.

Screaming muscles also scupper today's real plans since using a laptop will not help...I'm almost finished the re-write of Plumb Crazy; today will do it, which means that somehow my achy breaky body has to keep calm and carry on.

So, I'm here, at the laptop, dosed up, heated bean bag thingy wrapped around my neck, like one of those airline cushions, specs on, determined to push through the pain. The laptop is perched on a couple of telephone books with a keyboard attached beneath. A cup of green tea sits just beside me. I am ready to go.

Just one more look at that ad, before I start. For medicinal purposes you know.

To e Or Not To e - That Is The Question...

I'm in a quandary. Three books down and I'm debating if I've got it in me to create a fourth. I know I can write it. I know I can edit it. I know I can get it to a stage where I think it is a publishable manuscript. But can I go through the process again? Can I spend a year of my life doing all of the above, only to have the next six months with various people telling me that it doesn't quite cut it? I'm not sure I can and more importantly I'm not sure I want to.

If I'm honest, I was one of those writers (and possibly still am, hence the quandary) who did slightly poo poo self publishing. I wanted and still want the validation of the traditional publishing world - an editor saying to me ' You can write and guess what, we're going to pay you to do it!' To me, vanity or self publishing could never deliver that, so it wasn't an option. If I wasn't good enough to get published through the agent/publisher route, then, perhaps I just wasn't good enough, full stop. Perhaps I should keep writing, hone my craft, until I was...

Years later and I'm confused. Although there are many fabulous stories of success with people I know who've travelled the traditional publishing route, I'm also hearing a lot of variations on a theme. Rather than the ideal complete picture - that is, writer gets agent, agent gets deal, publisher gets sales = everybody happy, I've heard a few tales of writer gets agent, agent doesn't sell book = everybody pissed off and disappointed.

At the same time,increasingly, I'm seeing success via the ePublishing route. I'm hearing stories of people who have, with well crafted, publishable manuscripts succeeded in this way. I have also, alas, while debating with myself what to do, downloaded some questionable writing...

So what constitutes 'success' with this route? Yes, the manuscript is 'published' in that it is out there with an instant audience available to buy it through a digital medium. And yes, assuming one can amass some fairly respectable sales, kindle allows a very favourable royalty percentage. But how exactly does one get from ground zero where the send button is pushed launching your baby into the digital world, to a world of actual sales? For me, it is only sales, real readers buying the novel, real readers leaving comments that they enjoyed it, that could possibly replace the validation of the traditional publishing route, which, after all, should end up with the same result. And how exactly in a world of thousands of books can one stand out? How can a prospective reader determine the difference in the digital world between a well written novel and the inevitable lesser written ones that are available too... One has to hope that good writing will win out, word of mouth etc but how, how, how does one create a working launch pad in the digital world?

It's a whole new world. One of catchy hooks to catch your reader. One of being able to write a pithy pitch. One of self promotion and flogging your blogging to death. Oh, hang on a minute, don't I do that anyway?!

Am I up for it? The jury here is still out but I think I am...

Bad Words...

One of my new year's resolutions is to stop swearing. I don't mean the more harmless, 'Oh shit!' said as a real expletive, like if you dropped your favourite wine glass. I mean the often unnecessary use of the 'F' word, like if you dropped a full favourite wine glass.

I think it's possible to give it up but then again I'm Irish. We Irish have swearing entrenched in our genes and I'm not sure the scientists have isolated the particular DNA strand on the human genome yet. Besides, if I'm honest, I kinda like the odd swear word *Once more, hangs her head in shame*. It's just, for me, it provides a certain release. Like today, when I heard that our local planning office are playing silly buggers over our application and being all uptight about our garage proposal. Like we're suggesting the Taj Mahal with an up and over remote.

Grrr...

See, after I walked around making bad words up when I thought I'd run out - the weird thing is I FELT better. So today I consider my rant a necessary use of swearing, since it made me feel better and will make me much more pleasurable company when my husband gets home after his particularly gruelling day. And most importantly, nobody heard it except me.

On the other hand, trying to teach my daughter's Westie to say a bad word was, I admit, a step too far. Nobody likes dog corruption. It's not nice and it's not clever and those peeps in the Planning Department are, I'm sure, all lovely. Breathe...So, I tried to teach the dog to yawn instead. (I saw it on uTube - it can be done...)

I will try to stop. It's a good resolution. And I need to be more 'Om' (said with both fingers and thumbs in a circle) about life. And planners. And stuff in general.

** No animals were harmed in the making of this post**

Blog Writer? *Hangs her head in shame...*

Is there anybody out there?

Anyone at all?

Greetings...

Let's not talk about the dizzy heights I mentioned in my last post in er... 2010. I am still waiting for a sense of vertigo.

In good news, my daughter got married. Yes, I am only twenty five, and she twelve, 'tis a miracle. Above is a photo of me as Mother of The Bride. Yes, I cut everyone else out. What can I say? This is my blog and there's thousands of photos of everyone else.

In bad news, other than the wonderful wedding, 2011 was pretty shitty. A dose of pneumonia that lasted six months and is still hanging around like a bad smell.

In best news, after some real close 'almost there' moments in late 2010, followed by huge disappointment and the inevitable crash, I'm ready to write again. This is both terrifying and exciting. I think the fact that I want to get back to it says a lot. Like I'm crazy... opting for, volunteering myself for anxiety and rejection. Madness, but a madness I've missed.

While working on the WIP, I'm also going to blog more regularly, maybe do some topic thingys, like Flash Friday or Manic Monday or Trial By Tuesday. So please, if you're reading this, an old follower or maybe new, drop me a line to say hi? Let me know I'm not COMPLETELY bonkers...

Careful What You Wish For...

Yesterday I met a friend who three years ago left a life as a corporate lawyer and has spent those years abroad in the sun being a dive instructor. Could she have chosen a better three years to be away from the UK? Possibly not... Is she happy to be back? You betcha...

We sat by the Thames and had an overpriced poncey lunch in the sunshine. She talked about her travels, the good, the bad, the things she loved and the the things she sorely missed - and I talked about my life, the good, the bad. I came away admiring her attitude - she seems to will good things into being. It just doesn't seem to cross her mind that things won't work out the way she plans them and I couldn't help wandering ...how/where does one acquire such a quality?

Well, it's not in B&Q, that much I know - though I suspect there may be some DIY process involved. There is a school of thought (cosmic ordering) that you can will things into being by asking the Universe. But to be honest, I think its more than that. Yes, you have to ask. And maybe your karmic balance has to be in tune before the Universe listens? But I've come to the conclusion that the secret ingredient is self belief.

If you believe in yourself and I mean REALLY believe - I think you wear it. It shines out of you, oozes through your pores and latches onto people you come into contact with. And likewise, if you don't fully believe, those little bits of negativity that you harbour in the creases of your brain, push their way through those pores.

Which means you don't get what you want. And not getting what they want is not what most people want?

For some people, they seek financial security.

Others, it's a much wanted pregnancy, a bigger house, a better job.

Some, its a book deal, world peace and health and happiness for all their loved ones (not much to ask for I know)

So, I'm going to try something different. And I'm going to try it for September. There's a LOT going on in my life over the next month but that's no excuse. I'm going to will it all into CALM being. And I'm going to have a course of action in my head, with specific results as if it were my ONLY course of action and ONLY result. Watch this space. I may be waving at you from dizzy heights. Scrap that. I will be waving at you from dizzy heights.

Book Review : "Lock Down" by Sean Black

Crikey! With bodysnatching in the prologue and an assasination in the early pages of the first chapter, Lock Down hints from the start of the roller coaster ride ahead. Fasten your safety belts - Sean Black's debut novel Lock Down is an action filled thriller. So much so, I felt I was watching a movie rather than reading a book.

I have to confess, the thriller genre is not my favourite one, and though this book has a few 'faults' in my eyes, I did finish it in two sessions - a little dizzy admittedly - but it was a good pacy read. Lovers of the genre will lap it up.

Black's main character, Ryan Lock, (a hybrid of John Mc Clane of Die Hard fame and Jack Bauer of 24 fame) is ex military, now head of security for a pharmaceutical company, Meditech. Topical matters like pharmaceutical research, animal rights, kidnapping, family disfunction are I feel, in the first half of the novel, covered well. It's the second half where I felt the plot veered towards the unreal... Without offering spoilers, we're introduced to a horrific female Chechen rebel, a terrorist threat with the ebola virus, and a lunatic battling for family supremacy. As I said, just a little dizzying?

So, what I didn't like was plots fighting plots for position on the grid. I also felt that at present, Lock is a little predictable, not quite cliched, but not far off. The novel's characters in general took second place to the plot and as such lacked development for me as a reader. This is something though, that I'm sure will improve through Black's continuing series featuring his hero, Lock.

What I did like -and what will make me buy the next book in Black's series on release - is the fact that he writes short, pacy chapters and realistic snappy dialogue with laugh out loud one liners (no doubt aided by his previous experience as a successful scriptwriter). For me, he does this so well that any plot dislikes became secondary.

And lets fact it. The action packed plot, even if it is a little flawed, is a film maker's wet dream. I predict a long happy future for Mr Black. Mr Lock will be donning our screens before too long and when he does - keep the one liners? Cast him well (Johnny Depp? Aidan Quinn?) and fulfill Ty's (Lock's sidekick) potential by finding an actor as gorgeous as the book makes him sound!

Book Review - "If I Stay" by Gayle Forman

Just before I left for two week's holiday, I signed up to The Summer Reading Challenge and received the first of four books to read. Thanks to the lengthy delays of a certain budget airline (another blog post entirely), I had polished off most of their first offering 'If I Stay' before the plane had left the runway.

WARNING! To any reader considering this book, do not read the second half whilst on a plane wedged between two male strangers. You will find yourself strangling sobs in a most unattractive fashion. When they both got on their phones as soon as we landed, I was expecting the sob police to greet me at passport control.


Yes, its a weepie but whilst there aren't any laugh out loud moments, there are joyous moments and the books themes - loss, the power of love are handled beautifully. It was originally written for the Young Adult market, but transfers genre to adult reading quite easily. In fact, it took me back. Like the main character, Mia, I too met a hugely important love when I was just seventeen, so I found myself remembering what that felt like. Hell, I know what it feels like - I married him!


I digress - 'If I Stay' is written in first person, present tense, which as a reader, is one of my favourite forms of narrative. It really feels immediate, helping to get right into the character's head. It works particularly well in the telling of this story, especially during 'The Scene' in the first twenty pages, during which I gasped aloud (hand to face, you know the type...Luckily I was still in the airport at that time)


If you like a story with a realistic, young main character whose life is filled with love and who is suddenly faced with total heartbreak and an unimaginably tough decision - read this book. The studio responsible for the Twilight Saga have optioned the rights and I suspect a film, in their hands, will be every bit as good.

I flew through it. Just remember the sob police may be watching. Or listening.